


In the Dark

by myriddin



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Sexual Content, Storyline Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:13:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3486083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myriddin/pseuds/myriddin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An exploration of possible Swan Queen after the Dark Emma storyline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Restless

**Author's Note:**

> The plan for this is for it to be a 3-parter with the first two parts will be T-rated, one of observation and one of reflection. The third part will be one of resolution and upped to an M-rating. I hope you enjoy, dear readers.
> 
> I don’t own Once Upon A Time. Once Upon A Time is the property of ABC Studios, Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.

Night had become their time, but even then she is restless.

Regina heard the rustle of the sheets, the bed shifting as the warmth of Emma's body left the place beside her. The mattress groaned in protest under the sudden shift of Emma's weight and she froze, fearing the sound would cause Regina to stir. But the years of practice during Regina's marriage had perfected her skills in deception. This situation was no exception, as Regina kept her breathing slow and deep, feigning peaceful sleep.

Emma exhaled softly, a clear sigh of relief, and proceeded to remove herself from the bed without further mishap. It was no surprise for Regina that the blonde's footsteps were soundless as she padded across the carpet, for as loud and crass as Emma Swan could be, she had proved herself capable of subtlety and stealth in the past weeks. Emma crossed the bedroom in a silent prowl, stepping into the pale moonlight spilling in through the window.

As the faint illumination washed over her, revealing her in all her naked glory, Regina's breath hitched, unable to help the familiar wave of appreciation and desire that welled up inside her. Emma's physique was trim and fit, muscles lean, toned and capable of a raw strength her slender frame kept deceptively dormant in its cage of flesh and bone.

Regina was not ignorant to the darker side of this. When not considered a hindrance, riddled with proposed weaknesses that make her merely mortal, Emma's body was her greatest weapon, and like all her weapons, she kept this one honed and sharp. Any conceived flaws were considered unacceptable, and this practice has become obsessive, whether learning to use the longsword or dedicating herself to her magic lessons with a focus she had never before displayed.

They had lived their lives on edge for so long, constantly fighting, running, hiding, going into battle, struggling to survive. They had lived too long with the constant shadow of fear, the lingering rush of adrenaline after a battle. Before long, living life that way began to become part of who they are, becoming so far ingrained into their being that there was no escape.

The last battle had stolen a piece from all of them, their souls, their sanity, but Emma most of all. It was the nights she felt the most haunted that she came to Regina. And Regina never turned her away.

Darkness descended, and Emma became its creature, melting into the shadows to appear before their former queen. She would strip, quickly and efficiently, letting the clothes fall to the floor with little preamble. Her eyes would be dark and intense, demanding Regina's attention as they locked and held her gaze for the entirety of Emma's approach to the bed.

Regina would slid back the blankets in invitation, and from there, Emma would lose her control. She would tumble into the bed, eager for skin-to-skin contact, and before Regina could form a conscious thread of thought, Emma's hands would be on her body, her mouth seeking Regina's.

They were never gentle. Emma's kisses were hard and demanding, her touch rough and seeking, but never careless. Regina was always left with the distinct impression that no matter how aggressive they became, Emma would stop the moment she made any expression of discomfort. Ever the Savior, even when lost in lust and desperation.

They fucked. Regina found no need to cover that truth with any other label or euphemism. It was sex, but also something all their own. Desire, lust, need, they all became one in the same in those moments, fueling something so primal it was almost animalistic.

It always ended the same. Control snapped, thought was swept away in the tide, sanity all but forgotten as instinct took precedence in the mindless pursuit toward release. Regina had never before Emma experienced such a powerful moment that her mind could blank, her eyes blind to anything but need and raw sensation. Release...sweet release...her world shattered and reality was a distant memory, lingering in the very edges of consciousness if only for a few precious minutes.

Emma never slept through the night, restless and fitful. She was a creature of habit, pacing the floor through the same path of travel again and again. It never failed to remind Regina of a predator trapped in a cage. A wild, prowling jungle cat, all rippling muscles and sleek skin, moving with a fluid motion that was surely feline grace, abuzz with nervous energy.

She alternated between fretfully tangling his fingers in her hair or clenching her fists at her sides, as her body trembled and she visibly fought against some unseen inner demon. Regina could guess at the monsters the Savior battled with. They were both killers now, blood on their hands that would never wash away- but the difference was, the queen was a murderer, and her lover a hero.

There was absolutely nothing Emma could have done after Hook had changed loyalties yet again and chosen to do Rumpelstiltskin's bidding. Regina could still remember the soul-shaking fear she had felt realizing the Dark One had sent the pirate once again after Henry..and a crushed heart had been Emma's final defense in protecting their son.

The Savior had redeemed herself in the eyes of the town with that act, after a short spiral into darkness, the hypocrisy of which still inspired Regina to light with fireballs. It had been the infective spark of dark magic that Snow White and her Prince had had placed within their unborn daughter (to protect her from Regina, oh, the irony) that had left Emma open to the corruption in the first place. The whole ordeal may have been pardoned and forgotten, but the memories for Emma still remained, haunting her until the guilt and shame threatened to drown her.

And then it fell to Regina each night to keep the younger woman's head above water.

When the dawn arrived, Emma would be gone, and the happenings of the night would touch the light of day. Regina would still feel the ghostly lingering of her touch, still feel the finger-shaped bruises left by desperate and need hands. She would sometimes glimpse the screaming red lines left by her nails running down Emma's shoulders and back, but Emma never acknowledged them, and Regina never commented.

Regina knew Emma Swan's need, her passion, her pain. She knew her hopes, she knew her fears, she knew her loves and hates. But what she wanted most, was to know her lover's trust, and the hope to have it was reignited every time Emma curled up against her side, rested her head against her breast, and simply let herself breathe.


	2. Hopeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma's POV.

Night has become their time, but even then she is hopeless.

Nearly by habit now, Emma is restless. Despite Regina's comforting warmth beside her, she could not bring herself to sleep peacefully. She moved, raising herself into a sitting position, and the sheets rustled, the mattress groaning beneath her. She froze for fear of waking her bed mate, but her efforts are useless. Regina's body did not tense and her breathing remained slow and steady, but it was an illusion, for Regina was no more asleep than her.

Emma gave no indication she saw through the deception, and instead, she sighed softly, continuing to climb to her feet and cross the bedroom. Her steps were silent, soundless against the carpet, a side effect of the years she spent on the streets. Beside the window has become one of her favorite places to think, and she stepped into the light reflected through the glass, blinking absently in the sudden illumination.

The pale, swollen face of the lunar moon shone brightly in velvet skies, and in her luminescence Emma stood, crossing her arms against the pane of the window she was leaning against. In the light, she could make out the faint scars on her skin, badges of her tattered past. Her hands clenched into fists, flexing the muscles in her forearms, and she was reminded of how hard she had been working to reforge her body into her greatest weapon.

Emma had no room for weaknesses. Nothing but perfection would do. She could no longer afford to be only mortal. She had to be indestructible, equally destructive, and I cannot afford the slightest flaws in my condition. She was a warrior now, a protector. She needed to be strong as steel and unmovable as stone.

Her mission, her destiny, the mantle of Savior, has become her life's blood. They chose her for this, to fight for them, and now it is no longer just her calling…it is her entire world. And the moment she touched Darkness, dirtied her hands to protect them, tarnished that shining armor, they turned their backs on her. The only one who still faced her, meeting her unflinchingly, had been Regina. Even Henry hesitated. Only Regina had not faltered.

When the nightmares come, when she remembered the burning power surging through her, adrenaline and sweet, seductive power, thrumming beneath her skin, living through her, it was Regina she went to. It was Regina she craved, Regina she surrendered to, and the Queen never turned her away.

Regina has since learned to expect her. Some nights, she waits up, anticipating the Savior's appearance, and others, she is asleep but wakes immediately to silently greet Emma upon her arrival. It is always the same after the darkness falls, darkness Emma could not help but feel is still part of her.

Her control splintered and she strips away her clothing, useless pieces of material falling unheeded to the floor. And it was desperation that fueled her to cross the few steps separating them, to pull back the blankets and fall into the comfort of Regina's embrace. Yes, she was desperate, seeking nothing but the touch of naked skin, Regina's body pressed to hers, to be inside and let her inside in the one way that would drown out the darkness in her mind.

Any intention for gentleness quickly disappeared, but Regina always responded beautifully regardless- nails clawing at Emma's shoulders, legs wrapped tightly around her waist, teeth digging into her neck. Regina is strong, stronger than any other she could have chosen, stronger than Emma herself in so many ways. If there was anyone that could handle the mess that Emma had become, it was the powerful woman that writhed beneath her in the night.

She was rough, demanding, that she knew, and it was an addicting feeling, riding out the edges of their very sanity, seeking some kind of relief to the storm that raged inside them both. There is something about Regina that saw inside her, saw the chaos beneath the exterior, the vulnerable woman beneath the Savior, and she cherished that about Regina, even if she could promise the Queen nothing but this.

She never slept the night through. Despite that she can feel Regina's warmth, her soothing scent teasing her senses, dark tresses tickling against her nose as the brunette spooned against her. Even then, she could not sleep.

She paces, she stalks, predatory and dangerous, broken and bleeding as she found herself split open for the world to see. She could feel the weight of Regina's eyes at her back, observant, measuring. She wondered what Regina was thinking, what she was remembering.

She was a killer now. No matter how she tried, she constantly sees the blood staining her hands. She hears Hook's cries of denial, Rumpel's shouts of outrage, and then the screams of pain. They haunt her. Savior they call her, choosing to forget, to move on and sweep the unpleasant deeds under the rug. Savior, hero...murderer, monster.

She hated it most when the tears came, potent and burning where she did not want them. They were emotion, pure, unadulterated emotion, and she did not want their weakness.

Morning will come, and their lives will go on as usual, the masks replaced, as if nothing from the night before has changed her, changed Regina. Emma would feel her lover's gaze, under the guise of the eyes of Madame Mayor, and remember the arch of Regina's back as she climaxed, the softness of her hands as they caressed her, but Emma would still not look her way. She would feel the brunette's marks of possession on her back, her hips, her neck, but she would not say a word.

Emma knew she was hopeless, restless, and efforts to be otherwise are fruitless. She would fall back under the mask, taking up the part of Savior once more.


	3. Breathless

Everyone has a breaking point, even Saviors of prophecy. Regina knew it had to come eventually, that her beloved couldn't keep up the charade forever. Even Emma knew it was inevitable- how could she keep up the act of being cold and standoffish to the one person she trusted completely?

It was storming that night, so tumultuously as rain slammed against the roofing above and the violent rumble of thunder reverberated constantly through the air, that Regina was already awake when Emma came climbing through the window. In any other circumstance, she would voice concern or reprimand about being more regarding of her safety in such a fierce storm, or getting the rest she would need to supervise damage control in the morning. But it wasn't Emma and Regina, close friends, or Sheriff and Mayor, together on these nights, and to speak in any way was verboten.

Except, there was something different about this night, as lightening crashed, highlighting Emma's pale, damp face as she clumsily knelt beside the bed. The sudden illumination drew Regina's attention to her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat at the raw, vulnerable emotion evident in their wounded green, their usual spark dulled by heartache.

Regina couldn't help herself, she whispered her lover's name. "Emma?"

The only thing that left Emma was a soft whimper and again Regina broke their routine, where Emma always made the first move, and let herself give in to her instinct. She stripped the unresisting blonde of her wet clothes, leaving her in a damp tank and her underwear. She drew Emma down to join her on the bed, wrapping her in both her embrace and the warm blankets. Emma relaxed immediately in her arms, her whole body going slack with relief at Regina's touch. Regina responded to her trembling by stroking her back with one hand, using the other to cradle her head as it fell to the brunette's shoulder.

Emma's shaking continued, more subtle but still there, and Regina pressed kisses to her temple, cradling close to her the one person that came close to being as precious to her as Henry. Emma was constantly murmuring, a steady mantra of, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," and Regina responded with constant reassurances and caresses until finally, Emma came to her breaking point.

She shuddered with deep, soul-shaking sobs. Regina whispered consolingly, stroking and soothing, and Emma felt she had never loved Regina Mills more than in those moments, her anchor in a sea of pent-up pain. Slowly and steadily, Emma calmed, raising her head to regard her bed-mate with shy, uncertain eyes. She had nothing to worry about, however, as Regina's smile was warm and full, affection radiating with every gesture and expression.

Emma's face relaxed, her gaze falling to focus on Regina's smiling mouth. Regina's hand came to rest against the back of her neck, gently encouraging the blonde closer. She cupped the side of Emma's face, stroking her cheek with her thumb as their lips met, coming together softly.

Emma's lips were cold and chapped, but Regina delighted in the contact, gentler and more delicate than any other physical intimacy they had ever shared. Emma sighed contently, shifting to settle against her more comfortably. Regina let her hands begin to roam, sliding her hands up Emma's back, relishing in the ripple of lean, supple muscle.

Then, Emma's tongue met hers, and Regina lost all ability to think at all.

The kisses were sweet, Regina so wonderfully warm and soft as their bodies fit together, hips and breasts and curves. This was how it should have been from the beginning, how she knew it would be if she had just allowed herself to give in. As their touches and kisses picked up in intensity, Emma's fingers beginning to unfasten the delicate little buttons belonging to Regina's silken pajama top, there was no denying where they were headed.

Regina's attention was caught by the tremble in her lover's fingers and with as close as they were pressed, chest to chest, she could feel Emma's thundering heartbeat, far too elevated for a body just starting to awaken to arousal. "Emma. Emma, are you alright?"

For a long, pregnant pause, as Emma sighed and dropped her head to Regina's shoulder, the queen feared she wouldn't get a response. But then Emma shifted and let out a long, shuddering breath. "I'm nervous," she murmured, self-deprecation is thick in her voice. "And I don't get why. It's not like we haven't done this before."

Regina hummed with understanding. She felt it too, that things were different this time, and changing things were always frightening. She threaded her fingers through Emma's hair, gently tilting the other woman's head up to face her. "If this isn't what you want tonight, Emma, it's the same as always. No expectations. Do what you need to, darling."

For a long moment, Emma stared at her, seemingly dumbstruck. Then, to Regina's horror, hazel-green eyes began to glisten again with tears, but before she could speak, Emma was suddenly smiling, widely, brilliantly, with a level of positive feeling Regina hadn't seen from her for months. Beyond that, there was a soft adoration in her eyes, bordering on reverence. Regina had to smother the instinctive urge to look away, feeling the heat of an light blush fill her cheeks.

Emma leaned down, pressed a lingering kiss to her neck, and whispered against the shell of her ear. "Do you have any idea how amazing you are, Regina Mills? You've been here this whole time...been there for me...I'm so sorry I haven't appreciated that like I should have, appreciated you. I want that to change now."

"Emma," Regina breathed in response as soft lips began trailing down her neck and Regina sighed, content to run her fingers lovingly through golden hair and tilt her head to the side, granting Emma better access. "Emma."

Emma made her way down to her throat, lips parting to press open-mouthed against her fluttering pulse. A pleasurable shiver rang through Regina as a teasing tongue flicked out to taste her skin, reveling in her closeness, her warmth and the ministrations of that wonderful mouth. Emma's hands went to the edges of the open pajama top and paused. "Is it okay?" she asked softly, because if she was honest, she had never truly asked before. Regina's consent and desire had always been evident in her body language and enthusiastic responses, but Emma was heavily, guiltily aware that she hadn't been treating Regina as well as she should. She had meant what she said, she intended for that to change.

Regain rolled back her shoulders so that her top fell from her torso and she reached up to link her arms around Emma's neck. "Yes, darling, yes."

Regina lifted her hips without hesitation for her bottoms to be drawn down and off, their bodies quick to again entwine, pressing close, warming each other with their heat. Hands quested and explored every enticing inch of skin exposed, Regina wrapping a leg around Emma's waist and reveling in the growl she earned from her Savior as she rolled her hips up to meet the downward buck of Emma's.

Emma reared up as Regina pushed at her tank, fumbling out of the garment in her eagerness. Regina stroked the nearly exposed skin with gentle, butterfly touches to Emma's shoulders, back and hips, both stirring and soothing as they lazily kissed, languidly tasting and savoring, reveling in smoldering sensuality.

It took some time, but Emma finally drew enough strength to leave Regina's lips, shifting her attention to exploring. She teased her tongue down between Regina's breasts, turning her head to nuzzle a pebbled nipple and then closing her lips around it. She gently suckled and paid the other aureola the same worshipful attention, taking in every reaction with pleasure as Regina moved restlessly against her, fingers tangled in her hair, nails digging into her scalp.

Emma found herself nearly shaking from the intensity of the feelings roaring through her, but it was an intensity she welcomed with open arms, kissing her way down Regina's body until she reached silken thighs that parted for her without hesitation. "Yes?" she asked again.

Regina met her eyes over the lithe line of her own body, her own gaze dark and full as she gave Emma the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. "Yes, Emma. Absolutely yes."

Emma grinned in reply, lowering her head until her nose brushed the soft triangle of curls shielding Regina's sex. She ran her tongue along the outer lips, humming contently as Regina's taste filled her senses. She delved between the folds, Regina arching against her mouth as she teased and caressed. "Oh! Oh, God, yes."

Emma chuckled as she worked a finger inside her lover. "You call me an idiot enough I didn't think you'd be so quick to deify me."

Regina couldn't help but snark back. "And I don't suppose, oh, Emma...you have anything better to do with that mouth of yours. Oh!"

As it turns out, Emma did.

Regina's first climax caught them both by surprise, unexpectedly taking Regina by storm in a wave of pure, unadulterated pleasure. Her hands flailed as she struggled to find an anchor, finding her needed purchase by clutching hard at Emma's shoulders, finding comfort in the corded muscle she found there.

Emma soothingly caressed her hip, gently questioning once Regina had begun to calm, "Think you could go again, beautiful?" With Regina's dazed nod, Emma flashed a quick grin and dipped her head back down.

Praise, prayer, pleading, Regina wasn't certain what it was she was giving, crying out to the ceiling. Her voice climbing higher and higher as her ecstasy did the same. Emma's talented fingers worked steadily with her to bring her to the edge and over. The blonde began the journey back up her body, trailing hot, wet kisses as she went, and slid strong arms around her writhing lover once she reached her destination.

A touch of Emma's thumb to her clit, her tongue grazing against a sensitive breast, and Regina came apart spectacularly in her arms.

xxx

Regina Mills was a beautiful woman. Emma had always known it, but for a long time, there had been too much lying between them for her to openly acknowledge it. Not just Regina's physical attractiveness, but also the beauty of her heart and soul. Lying next to her now, watching her sleep peacefully, Emma had never seen a more breathtaking sight.

The serenity of the moment couldn't last however, as feeling the weight of Emma's appreciative stare, Regina's nose twitched, her eyes slowly blinking open. "Have you been watching me sleep, Miss Swan?" she purred, lips curving into a languid smile. Regina's voice was sensual enough under ordinary circumstances, but raspy with sleep, Emma shivered at the sound.

The Savior shrugged sheepishly, brushing away the dark curls falling in Regina's face. "Yeah, guess I was."

"That's borderline stalking, dear."

"Maybe you should call the cops."

"Mm, perhaps I could get the Sheriff to handle the matter for me personally," Regina countered, looping her arms around Emma's neck as the blonde leaned over her.

Emma chuckled. "I'm sure we could work something out."

"I do love your diligence to civil service."

And I love you, a little voice whispered in the back of Emma's mind, but she ignored it for now as Regina pulled her down into a kiss. Regina nipped at her bottom lip, earning a soft moan from the Sheriff. Emma took the implied invitation and deepened their kiss.

"Jesus," Emma groaned after they had parted. With their foreheads pressed together, Regina's vision was full of her lover's eyes, dark with both arousal and wonder. "I don't think that can ever get old."

"That's good," Regina murmured, brushing her fingers down Emma's cheek. "Because it will have to be put on hold for a time."

Emma sighed. "We gotta talk, huh?"

"Only if you want to."

"Tell me something,"

"Anything."

Emma hesitated, licking her lips before she haltingly continued. "Am I a monster, Regina?"

It seemed impossible for Regina's dark eyes to further soften, but somehow they did. "You listen to me, Emma Swan." She laid her hand, palm-down, against Emma's breastbone, wherein lay an incredible heart. The world outside this bedroom may say it must be flawed now in some way, but Regina knew better. For now, it may be conflicted, but she knew firsthand Emma's limitless capacity for love, devotion, and goodness. That hadn't changed.

"This heart right here, it might be a little bruised right now, but it's still here. You love and you worry. That's not the sign of a monster. I've known plenty of monsters in my lifetime, dearest, and you are anything but."

No, there was nothing monstrous in the strong, steady muscle beating beneath the warmth of her skin. "But if you want to talk, darling, you know I'll listen."

Placing her hand over Regina's, their fingers entwining, Emma began to speak.


End file.
